“How many people we know who sour their lives, who ruin all that is sweet and beautiful by explosive tempers, who destroy their poise of character, and make bad blood! It is a question whether the great majority of people do not ruin their lives and mar their happiness by lack of self-control. How few people we meet in life who are well balanced, who have that exquisite poise which is characteristic of the finished character!”
For those of you that are aware of the passage above will know this comes from the book “As A Man Thinketh” by James Allen published in 1902, and is the final chapter known as Serenity. For the last few weeks I have been writing this wonderful chapter down. The profound impact of this chapter is still to be realised but what I can say is that the times I have committed to writing this down I have felt a sense of inner piece, a sense of calmness within me when all around me there may be chaos – kids running around, the TV on, dog barking etc.
It forms part of the new journey that I am on that I will share with you over the coming months and I do hope that you join me. But for now I want to dig a little deeper into the passage above, I want to pay particular attention to the first sentence “How many people we know who sour their lives, who ruin all that is sweet and beautiful by explosive tempers, who destroy their poise of character, and make bad blood” That used to be me !!!! Seriously – when I read this it amazed me that not so long ago and for many years that was me. I was destroying my poise of character, chiselling away and whatever good I had in me, the good that my loving wife and children, my friends and some of the people I work with saw in me. Ironically I never saw that !!! I never realised that was me !! Why you ask ?? Well that is because that is what I grew up with – that was my environment, my surrounding, my grounding. I never knew any different.
To me this was normal behaviour and as result I was attracted to people who shared the same behaviours as me.- “You attract what you radiate” – as this was where I was comfortable, most suited.
I now see that in so many people and wonder at what other people saw in me, I see the toxic environment that some people create for themselves and as a result for the people around them. For some time this was impacting my relationship with my wife and my children. Little did I know that as a result of my behaviour I was souring their lives.
I am now, being more aware of the inner me, the piece within, the calm in my control, finding the balance, building a new me and as a result the people I am surrounding myself with are a result of this change, the realisation that my poise of character, when radiated has a profound impact on the people around me. I now attract the people that enable me to grow and be the person I want to be. There are situations, however, where my inner Hyde comes to surface, don’t get me wrong there is still work to do, I have still not broken through the surface but I know it’s in touching distance, at hand for me to grasp as I am finding the serenity I seek to be the true me.